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Management Lessons:

Lesson Number One
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day?"

The crow answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
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A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
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A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Get to know what it is getting More than 100%...........

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants "more than 100%."

Well here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%. First of all,here's a little math that might prove helpful in
the future. How does one achieve 100% in LIFE? Begin by noting the following.

IF :

A = 1

B = 2

C = 3

D = 4

E = 5

F = 6

G = 7

H = 8

I = 9

J = 10

K = 11

L = 12

M = 13

N = 14

O = 15

P = 16

Q = 17

R = 18

S = 19

T = 20

U = 21

V = 22

W = 23

X = 24

Y = 25

Z = 26

Then:

H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%

Similarly,

K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%

But interesting (and as you'd expect),

A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%.....

This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is

B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management,

and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100%!

Meaningful Image

Here is one of the most meaningful image i found on the internet :

Moral of the Story : Yes ! You got that correct !

Maths

It was during my 4th semester that i had a monotonous routine which goes like:
Wake up at 9.30am,brush up and run 2.5km to college for lectures.
12-12.40pm lunch time.
Again 2.30 hours of lectures.
15 minutes short break.
Again 2.30 hour of crushing lab work.
Return back to hostel,
(I am just building the scenario for the talk).
have a shower and sleep orelse surf.
Dine at 7.30pm and then go to shopping center(which actually is a food court for hostellites).
Eat something which gives a feeling that yes my stomach is now full.

Now comes the core part.I daily used to talk with one of my besties bhavi at night.
So i used to buy and keep vodafone coupons of 20 and 50 rupees with me,those scratchwala coupons.

Once it so happened that i scratched it real hard that 3 numbers were partly destroyed.It was 3rd,4th and 6th number.
I tried randomly 3-4 times but it was always the error message on my nokia 6300 at that time.

Frustrated,i sat on the bed and said "bc zindagi haav jhaath jevi che"!

Hardik (rommie) - Su thyu ?
Manoj (rommie) - Laughing !
Me - Described the problem.

While describing there was a sudden click.
Since it were 3 numbers,the total possiblity of trial and error would be 10*10*10= 1000 possiblities and that was too huge to deal with.

We all observed that the 3rd number has a curve on the downside,so it could only be 0,6,8(no 9 or 3 coz the visible curve was going west to south).
For the 4th number,it was a pointed shape like structure on the top.So this could definately be 1,4,7 (even 7 was doubtful but whats the harm!)
We could not identify the 6th number.
Hence now the total possiblity was
3*3*10 (worst case) = 90.

Still it was tough to deal with.While we were thinking on the solution,i was desperately trying with possiblities and to utter luck i got that correct in just the 3rd try itself and there was the message "RECHARGE SUCCESSFUL".

And it felt so bloody good.
Cheers Maths.
Respect.

Retributive Justice

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."


Chuck replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said," 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with a dead donkey?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."


A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."


The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back...Amen

Moral of the story : An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind - M K Gandhi.

If the whole world is going to get blind,why not 10 eyes for an eye - 21st Century Human Attitude !

The perception story

Last week i visited one of my relatives as i had not met them since a long time.
I was discussing my higher education with my uncle chirping some banana wafers.
As we were on profiles and scope,there came a point at which he gave me a excellent story-embedded example.
(I do not exactly remember when this point came but its worth sharing ).
Here it goes:

Once a professor decided to test the preparations of his students for the coming placement week.
He called his 7 students to meet him at the university lawns for a casual talk.
All of them gathered at 6 pm with hazy sunset at the lawns.
(Just try to imagine the scenario to make the picture LIVE)
The professor asked about their preparations and all the 7 students seemed quite confident.

The professor decided to teach them the most important lesson before they join the corporate world.

He gave a blank paper and pencil to each student.
Meanwhile walking , there came a brickstone on their path.
The professor paused for a moment and asked the students to solve a exercise for him.

He asked the students to write as many advantages of the brickstone as they knew,individually.

After 10 minutes , he collected the papers from all the 7 students.

What he saw was :

Student 1 - Points (1),(2),(3),(4),(5)
Student 2 - Points (1),(2),(3),(5),(6)
Student 3 - Points (1),(2),(3),(5),(7)
Student 4 - Points (1),(2),(3),(7),(8)
Student 5 - Points (1),(2),(3),(4),(6)
Student 6 - Points (1),(2),(3),(8),(9)
Student 7 - Points (1),(2),(3),(5),(8)

After comparing the answer sheets,he asked student 1 to speak loudly his answers.
After all the 5 points numbered 1 to 5 were presented,he asked student 2 if he missed any.
Student 2 : Sir,I missed point 4 but i have a new point 6

Similarly,
Student 3 : Sir,I missed point 4 but i have a new point 7

Student 4 : Sir,I missed point 4,5,6 but i have two new points 7 and 8

and so on.

The professor : Do you know these points or you are completely unaware of it ?

Student 1 -7 : We all know these points.But we were not able to note down each and every point even though we knew them all.

The professor : EXACTLY !

Student 1 - 7 : Lesson learnt



Moral of the story : Everyone knows everything.Its all about the matter of perception. Dot your I and cross your T before you speak :)

The Hidden Analyst

I many times spend my weekend in gandhinagar at a friend's home.On a personal note I find the city really sooth when your week is too hectic. 

I usually travel by bus from Income tax area orelse i hire up rickshaw who support bunching passengers as this method is really cheap (yes you have to keep you comfort and ego aside for a while !).

I have always been fond of rickshaw-drivers.

The way they talk,the way they make jugaads at each and every point of time,their attitude,their satisfactory nature at times is extraordinary (and at times annoying too !)

Lets come to the main incident which i find really interesting.

Long time back i travelled in this kind of rickshaw starting from wadaj circle.

The guy looked in early 20's with his 'rai-ban' supported on backside of his white shirt collar.

R.D (Rickshaw Driver)  : Bolo

Me                                : gandhinagar

R.D                               : Tamari j samjo

Me                                : Ketla

R.D                               : Je aalva hoi aal dejo

Point no 1 - Good marketing startegy.Treat the client all lush green and he definately falls flat.

I sat in and was the first one in there.Adjusted comfortably on the sunray avoiding side. Just then a couple in their early 40's asked about the rent and was also happily driven just by the rickshaw wala's expression on their inquiry.

Point no 2 - Facial expression can sometimes win what words don't.

Three seats were done and we went on so that I (who was sitting since last 8-10 mins) do not get bored and annoyed.

Point no 3 - Respect and care for rooted customers.

The vehicle had just crossed the bridge and there were two college students waiving. But the driver didn't pay any heed and went on. I was amazed and confused at the same time.

We went on while just after few minutes he rang his friend conforming absence of policeman on the coming circle.I asked about police extortion but there was this altogether new story.

Actually he had made a daily sweetner with the policeman for rupees 200 to never stop his and his friend's rickshaw even though there are n number of passengers inside.

Point no 4 - Dividing risk and making use of social stigmas (instead of just critising them !)

He explained me the difference between the two scenarios :

(1)Earn 700 rs daily + look on all factors as rigid driving with caution and tension,not to get caught.

(2)Earn 700 , give 100 to policewala , tensionfree driving and eventully avoid accident due to absent-mindedness , friendhip with the police people , so called izzat amongst other driver friends etc (lots of benefits i must say) !

Point no 5 - Consulting abilities makes business better in itself

Just as we reached D-mart turning,there started the music and guess what it was : david guetta's sexy bitch. But the janab had a explanation for it too.On the way comes PDPU and he had made good friendship with a student of PDPU.

Sexy bitch is the outcome of that friendship !

On the way he had a talk with his wife,all lovey-dovey and i guess its risk free to do that as the traffic is nearly nil on that route.

Point no 6 - Perfect selection of business area

Just as we crossed PDPU,there was a young couple waiving for lift.He stopped and let them in.At this time he did not discuss the money and all.

It was Info-circle and the couple had to get down there.The driver demanded 20 rs on which there was a hustle between the two but it was settled easily because the boy had a gf with him.

Point no 7 - Opportunist !

And this was the reason why he nelected the two guys in the beginning because he knew he was ought to get a "couple" later on.

He dropped me at pathika and we had a chat for 10 mins.

I suggested him to form a group and he can serve as the lead , earning quite good.But he was like "aapni aaj life ne aama j khush"

Moral of the story : Even he had brains to work at Mckinsey but its all education and enthusiasm at one or the other point :)

Evil Education

Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10.

And, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20 for a monkey.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the City, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how Wall Street works!!